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Credits

layout: detonatedlove♥
pictures: dancingsheep
stocks: _excentric_

i had a hair cut few days ago and i think it sucks.! my fringe looks super short and nerdy. my hair dont look rebonded at all. super layered. P said they will look better when it grows longer. i wish it will too.
one more thing made me feel super guilty. i caused my dad to have a fall on Wed. felt so bad. i was mopping the floor and he didn't realise that and walked past. heart ached alot but didn't dare to say much. i am such unfillial daughter. my fault indeed.


one week of study break gonna be over soon. not much studying done. i am going to be in deep shit again. went work these few days. tue was last minute, wed was because he's working. today was because of the VIP event.
work was quite relaxed today. most exciting part was serving in the VIP. met a significant figure of Singapore. Our Senior Minister, Goh Chok Tong. he's tall and he got the ci2 xiang2 look. wahahaa. lame. but it's really my honour being able to serve him. especially talking to him in less than a metre. and everything was super kua zhang. the security checks of every staff, the polices everywhere and those personal bodyguards with briefcases which contains guns.

pimples starting popping out again. a sign that i am lacking of sleep bah. off to bed soon. hope next week will be more fulfiling. all my CNY shopping not done.

i'm really off to bed. nightsss.


was jes's 19th birthday one day ago. met up with him and yun to take the cake receipt. had dinner with idiot boy at Scotts. stupid flu made me lost my appetite. didn't even finish the food. felt like a princess today because of my flu. i think he went to buy tissue for me thrice? i supposed i used up 4 packets of tissue within 4 hours. he also volunteered to go and collect yun's cake so that i can wait for him outside Taka. appreciated what he has done all along.
felt really drowsy all day long. went over to his place at 1plus. supposed to take bus 22 from his place to tampines. weak legs and sleepy eyes. took a nap, woke up, 5plus already. went off to town instead to meet them. spent the whole day with him and now, he's off cycling with his friends.
am going to give myself 1/2 days of break before studying for the common tests.
i need a hair cut too. he said my hair seem to be worth only $15 instead of $150.
and ya, Fox is having some dont-know-what sale. lots of things going at very low price. need to get some tees.

Yun: go shopping soon can? need to get the skirt and some tops.

friend: dont want to state name. if you know, i am referring to you. everything will be fine de. forgive and forget. though it's hard to do so, but do try. not worth giving up because of this. i am sure you will survive this.

and i am getting really drowsy. nightss all.


I NEED TO BREATHE.!
spent almost the whole night doing SHRM tutorial and IKS.
hope that chinese new year can come soon.
will be working from tml till fri. good luck to me. nights.


a little blogging before i study for my mini Ir test tomorrow. spent only few hours with him these days. everytime we meet up, it will be a short one. how i wished time can stop now..
had my IBS first sales call today. was quite nervous when i woke up this morning. when i was inside the room with the teacher, wasn't very nervous but didn't do very well either. managed to get a B and B+. supposed to meet him in school after my tut but... he was late. so i went off to Coronation plaza and waited for him. went to town after that. in my formal and long orbiang black skirt. had MOS burger and P suggested taking Neo-prints. he must be crazy. didn't want to take initially cos of my dressing. agreed in the end. hahaha. i look super weird but i like it. he didn't like it though cos it's stickers. lame. haha.
ok, i think i should go and study now.



yesterday was our 2nd month. i left house at 5pm and reached home by 915pm. i spent one hour traveling to bugis and one hour to travel back from bugis. add and minus, i only spent 2 hours with him. pathetic?
the bus journey was a torture. i stared blankly outside the window all the time. my thoughts wandered and wandered. i wanted to go somewhere alone but no idea where to go. i was super cold then.
reached home. changed into my pyjamas, washed up and went to sleep immediately. i couldn't think of what to do except to sleep. my Pathetic satursday night.



yeah..signed up for the Thai Field trip today. so happy that all my besties in HRM are going.. ming, michelle and soonjie.
saved some money for the blazer i intending to buy. borrowed it from xueyin instead. this way, managed to save $59.
i still feel very disgusted with myself. i need to shed some fats.!!!



it's the 14th today. one more day and it will be the 15th. our 2nd month together. wow, i feel as if we have been together for ages. Lao3 Fu1 Lao3 Qi1 feeling. hahaha.

IS day today. BHE was fun. Dear ming ming and py always the LAST group to finish. went to J8 after our lessons and BF came to join us. shopped around for formal wear. had dinner at food court and home sweet home. he went to his friend's birthday celebration after that. didn't want to tag along for fear of being left out. went home with Mingming. both of us slept on the bus journey home. damn tired.

mom cooked my share of dinner. no choice but to eat again when i reached home. no wonder my weight started shooting up these days. i am quite disgusted by myself actually. i felt SO Fat. had no problem wearing that size 27 jeans of mine this morning. butts expanding. waist doesn't feel like a waist anymore. flappy arms that bounce when hitted. big thighs that can be squeezed easily. even my boy agreed that my arms are flappy. :( (i thought they should be muscular.)

i guess i must stop eating at this rate if not i will definitely have problem buying clothes for New Year. i dont want to look like a Bao Zhang going around house visiting. give me some advises for dieting.

and yes, finally persuaded mingming to go to the Bangkok field trip. wong soonjie going too. hahaha. and my roommate will be Michelle. the trip will be from Feb 20-23th. so looking forward. and it only cost $250. hahaha. good deal?
can i 'mai dong xi, chi dong xi' in Bangkok?

one presentation on coming mon. not even a single bit of preparation done. outfit not decided. notes not prepared. questions not ready. only thing done is the namecard done by my boy. luckily he helped me with it.

i'm feeling super broke this week. or rather these few weeks. no work at all. no shopping in a long long time. all window shopping. i want to get:
-that flesh imp denim skirt. ($49.90)
-that G2000 blazer ($59.90)
-G2000 skirt ($25)
-a proper bag for presentation ($)
-New Year clothes ($$)
-New Jeans ($$$)
i'm going $_$. haiz. give me some money. anyone owing me money please show yourself now!!!

oh ya, i am such good girl. i attended all 4 lectures since monday. one more to go tomorrow but i think i am giving it a miss. might be going to the Napha. cant possibly bring a laptop along. anyway, i think i better go to bed now. pimples can't wait to pop up now. nightsss.


met him for dinner at toa payoh just now. claypot chicken rice was nice. worth the wait. had sting ray too. went off to central and shopped for Mochi ice cream. bought the bigger pack of 21 mini bites with 7 flavours. sat somewhere outside and started eating the mini ice cream. was fun and yummy.

halfway through, the topic suddenly changed to his enlistment and all of a sudden, my tears started falling out. started crying and couldn't stop. i am very worried about him. i cried not only because i will miss him, but the thought of him suffering made me very sad. every single thing he said can bring me to tears. he didn't want me to be there on the 12th. as i am typing this, i dont know why.. i started to tear again..

people might think, "aiya since you have already went through this stage before, sad for what.."
true that i went through this stage before. i thought i wouldn't cry too but i was wrong. some people may think i am over-reacting.. but if you had the same experience as me, i am sure you will understand.

sighs.i'm going to bed soon. days of agony. i dont like school. in fact, i hate it.. nightss.


in 1 month and 3 days, which is 62 days... my boy is going for his National Service. very disappointed. very sad. mixed feelings. no more bintan trip... but at least we'll be able to spend Chinese New Year and Valentine's Day. i'm sure i will cry. tekong seem SOOO far away. damn the SAF.! why make his enlistment date SO near to my tests/exams? why can't they put him in the june slot... can't we have more time together so that we can go for the trip, can celebrate his birthday. P's dream is sooo true... he dreamt of receiving his enlistment saying he will be enlisted in Mar and true enough, he is going to be enlisted in Mar 12th. arghSSS!!!

i hope we will go through this test.

i'm gone.


event of the month: pimple outbreak again. simply hate it.

thoughts of the day:

1. couldn't understand why and how some human can forget the one they used to like/love in such short time. couldn't understand why they can say 'i love you' few months back and now saying 'i love you' to another person. saying/doing things to hurt the one they used to love dearly.. weird isn't it.

2.was chatting with one friend just now... got to know him when i'm working at Ohs. almost get together with this guy before P. that was few months back. few months later ( less than 3 months), he told me he's MARRIED. married to a chinese girl. happily in love now. was rather shocked to know that he got married in such a short time. but still , it's non of my business anymore.

3. my mood is going up and down again. can get upset with him easily these days.. pimple outbreak. assignments due date.
met him twice this week but both days was short. i am greedy. i want more. he seem to be unhappy but he doesn't want to tell me. this makes me sad again. as a gf, shouldn't i at least share some of his unhappiness? he wanted an early enlistment if not for me.. i don't want him to enlist so early. i am selfish again. hoping to celebrate Chinese New Year, Valentine's Day, his birthday with him before he goes for the enlistment. i pray that that will be after May.

finally done with the assignments that are due this week. peaceful week ahead. no assignment. no test.

off to bed soon. need some beauty sleep badly.



Mind and body totally drained after a day out with him. feeling SO tired and have got no energy to do anything. met him after the tutorial today. that boy woke up only when i called him after my tutorial. didn't want to loiter in town alone while waiting for him so i took 151 to hougang instead. very long bus journey of around 1 hour. had Pizza with him at hougang mall. Sausage Mania was nice.Since we had agreed to watch Fockers today, we went over to J8 after our lunch. movie was nice especially the doggy's part. i MUST stop going to J8. the food makes me guilty all the times. Da bao all our food and went to some void deck to have our 'dinner'. i believed i've gained quite a few kgs of FATS recently. felt so disgusted when i see my own tummy. SAD. shall carry out my Diet Meal during tomorrow's lunch break. went home after that. seem a short day but don't know why, both of us were SO tired. my boy slept shortly after he reached home and my eyes are giving way now.

he's working tomorrow. i need to do my work on thur. he's working on fri. i'm working on sat. seem that it will take quite some days before i can see him again. :(

no mood for IR and IBS. i willl cheong my way through after tonight, which is tomorrow. right now, i'm heading to bed... to catch enough sleep for tomorrow's morning lecture.

nights people.


Year 2005. My first entry of the year. Hours ago, i was feeling damn damn sad. Why do such things have to happen to me...somemore this is the second time... i had to spend my New year pathetically ALONE again. yes, alone.
went over to kevin's house to put xueyin's present and saw old friends like martin and yanda. my mood started changing when i received his call at 9plus..saying he has to work till 3am. teared while bathing. i really hate the feeling of controling my tears. had to control not to cry while on the bus to kevin's house..reached there, luckily there's joker martin and yanda around... took some photos with kevin and decided to come home.

feeling rather sleepy now. wanted to prepare some work for the coming week but my tired eyes are giving way. shall go take a short sleep while waiting for my boy to come. he agreed to have supper with me after his work.

school work is starting to get busy. have quite a few things in my list that are due next week. i'm getting from bad to worse. attended lessons only on mon, wed and fri this week. received one warning letter in less than 1 month. i guess there is more coming in. without His nagging, i think i will not attend those 9am lectures. glad that i went for the lectures though.

So, as the new year is here..i hope...
-to attend tutorials and lectures more regularly.
-to fare better in the last semester of my poly school life.
-to save a sum of money for my future trip with Him.
-to have more time with my family. (especially my mom)
-to have some more time for friends and cousin.
-to find a job of my interest after i graduate. ( hotel line preferred)
-maybe a part time course for further studies?

my brother told me that every year end, there will be some unhappy happenings. last year, anita mui passed away. this year, the tsunamis. let's hope that year 2005 will be a better one.. i hope, i hope.. nightsss~



my dream place to go. picture courtesy by MICHELLE SOO.

wanQi.
11 Aug - Leo
not a girl. not yet a woman.
22 going 23.

This is a log of what's happening in my life.


My motto in life is to live life to the fullest. I'm gonna strive hard for my goal!