Saturday, November 06, 2004
11/06/2004 01:33:00 PM

i had a dream this morning. i dreamt of the whole family having dinner together.. after that, i saw myself talking to my grandma in a room. i was holding her hand. she was telling me her last words.. i was so scared i kept crying and telling her that she will be fine. when i woke up, i was still very scared and i had tears in my eyes.

i don't know why i become so emotional these days. i keep dropping tears over the smallest matters, over matters that doesn't even concern me. seeing r/s on the verge of falling apart, self-pity, thinking of how worthless i am. thought about the guys whom i had fallen for before. those crushes... always thought i am ready for a next r/s, but when the next comes, realised they are just not the one.

found some feelings for a guy recently. a crush again? not much hope of being together with him. always enjoy the msn chats with him.. chatting from 12plus all the way to 4plus..almost everyday. every msn conversation lasts for at least 3 hours. i don't mind sacrificing my sleep, because i really enjoy the chat. back at work, we're just like strangers...exchanging only a few lines when no one's around. weird isn't it?
why can't a 'somebody' stays in my life? is it really that hard? seeing alot of girls climbing over their bf's heads, i ask myself.. will i do that if i have a bf in future.. i know the answer. i know i will not. this is not me.

going work at 3pm. gonna be late. used to it. shall take a cab. getting real tired of work. one day off next week.
mon-3pm
tue-11am
wed-off
thur-6pm
fri-3pm
sat-12pm
sun-3pm
life seem So meaningless now. people out there are enjoying their holiday, partying away..but here we are, burying our heads and slogging like hell for the sake of money. i ask myself again, why do i need so much money when i don't even have the time, chance to spend it...
i am getting draggy..i know..shall end off here. hopefully the next entry will not be this pessimistic. i always look on the bright side.. isn't it.?

-wanQi
The Writer



wanQi.
11 Aug - Leo
not a girl. not yet a woman.
22 going 23.

This is a log of what's happening in my life.


My motto in life is to live life to the fullest. I'm gonna strive hard for my goal!

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