fallen

sunday evening..feeling quite sleepy now.home not long ago.had lunch with all cousins at a jaP restaurant in Orchard Parade hOtel.the one which xueyin used to work in.delicious lunch.total bill came up to $174.61..total of 14/15 of us..off to meet kevin & martin at bUgis..was quite moodless when i first meet them.thought of the past while i am on the journey to meet them.kind of sian when i met them.walking aimlessly around bugis.went to mcdonalds and sat down chatting. felt better after chatting.talking about lame jokes.we were sitting outside so it was like, sitting under the sun.so after finishing the drinks, went walked around again..up to level 3 and kevin suggested taking lovegety.hmm, i was wearing the same top and skirt, the one i took with Sy.not really in the mood to take but he already changed the $ le.his sis came and we all went shop together.helped his sis to bargain for a pair of slippers at bugis street.haa..took train back after that.

yesterday: was home the whole morning.till about 3 plus..then get changed and off to work..while walking to the lift, took out my hp and take a look..got one missed call.was expecting it to be xueyin/peiyin..clicked on the missed call and it was Him..!!! yes..him! was damn excited lor..this is the first time he called after we broke off..called him while i'm on the bus..he asked me is it going to work? then i said ya.then he asked me to look after table 3 during work..i know it was his mom lor.so asked him is it his mom? then he said, cannot be my dad meh? then crapped for awhile..didn't manage to serve his mom's table.his mom's table was in the front..first row.and my allocated table is at the last.super super far away lor.xueyin changed table with me after that.i think she know what i want..so she changed it for me.really appreciated what she done.after changing the table with her, i was only 2/3 tables away from her. i also dont know why i am soo excited to see her..saw her when i entered the ballroom.she seem to be looking everywhere at her seat.looking for me?! haha..not sure.when her eyes finallly met mine, she smiled immediately.she walked out from her table and talked to me.she seem quite excited to see me.i am excited to see her tooo.she held my hands while talking.first time she did it to me..talked for a while.she asked whether i'm fine? told her ya.then when i looked into her eyes, she seem to be quite guilty.got a feeling that it is guilt.so in turn, i asked back how she is now? she also said fine lor.told her i wont be serving her table.hmm, quite awkward after that..after chatting with her, lots of memories keep flashing back lor..she was very nice to me last time.helping me when sy & me quarrelled..pick fish for me to eat.told me stories of her young tiimes.prepared bed for me when she knew i'm staying for the night.brought me pads when i got that one..alot alot..wanted to thank her,after the dinner.but no chance.the dinner ended quite late.i went off first.so i went up to her and said bye to her only..i misssss everything from the past.i know i cannot.i know i must look ahead.no more of the past anymore.i tried but i cannot.everyone is telling me to give up.they simply dont know how much i've tried.

The Writer

wanQi.
11 Aug - Leo
not a girl. not yet a woman.
22 going 23.

This is a log of what's happening in my life.

My motto in life is to live life to the fullest. I'm gonna strive hard for my goal!

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