fallen

Sunday afternooon. waiting for my mother to come home.she went to get the paint for the living room. read yun's Comments. one of her friends said that no one is not good for anyone. this sound soo true. i used to think this way too. we 2 seem to be in different worlds. he has his own thinking and lifestyle and i have mine.
went shopping with ting before work yesterday. bought only a top. soo crowded. luckily we went town quite early. he called when i'm shopping halfway. he wanted to go accompany me to work. got a feeling his main purpose is not to send me to work. met him earlier to have a talk. a terrible one. almost had a break-up.
am i to compromise with him or should i let go?
he said i am too posessive. crazily paranoid. but how to control my thinking and thoughts?!
shall see for a few more days. really dont wish this to come to an end.

thought of the time he was hospitalised. it was a Mon. damn jialat for me. it was the common test week for me. he was quite pissed with me that day. he waited soo long for me to come. but i was eating pizza with ming and soonjie they all. took a cab to NUH and see him there. accompany him throughout the whole day. kept waiting and waiting. but it was fun leh.dont know why. he was in pain and i think is fun? it was me who see to all his hospitalisation procedure. yes, Me. first time i did all those thing. he was on the drip and cannot eat other thing. but he wanted to eat chicken rice. so the next day i went to visit him, i bought him chicken rice with his favourite Coke. had to hide from the nurses.so we pull all the curtains and eat secretly. he was discharged after 2 days. hmm..sent him home together with his mom. got 2 papers coming after that.i knew i going to do badly le. really. i failed my marketing test. went for the retest. he once said that he dont want to see me failed. sooo, for my and his sake, i promised not to fail. didn't failed in the exams but all lousy grades. but still, i passed all..
why am i soo deeply in love with him? hmm, i also dont know. some will said that he's not very good. i can find someone better than him. blah blah blah.. and i think i only lives in the memories. totally engrossed in the past. got thought of giving up.really.alot of times.but the pain will be intolerable.can still survive without him.but all will be black and white? my life is not getting any better now either...
tomorrow will be a better day? will it happen to me.? oh..i'm a good girl. please stop torturing me with all these. i just want someone to love me the way i loves him.

The Writer

wanQi.
11 Aug - Leo
not a girl. not yet a woman.
22 going 23.

This is a log of what's happening in my life.

My motto in life is to live life to the fullest. I'm gonna strive hard for my goal!

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